archive +6.7

Don’t be scared. I’m looking at you

Come here to my room. I’ve been waiting for you

A prancing deer

Any burns?

Is anyone awake?

Tunnels again. Free flowing prose

Whilst there is some predisposition among pacific islanders, I think the rise in chronic disease is caused largely by economic factors and a dependence on Imported foods. I’m trying to answer that very question myself

I’m flattered, today is my first day of freedom for a year so we’re both celebrating. Sorry for the recent neglect

My room

I left the book in your room and turned your light off. Hope that’s ok. If its not then take it up with the environment police. The planets warming up if you don’t read the newspapers. Shit, no rainforest left

You know me too well

It got a standing ovation, although helpfully pointed out that they were just cheering because I was leaving

Can I borrow the hunter-gatherers?

I’m a bit shit

archive +6.6

I wanted to watch them chain sawing the trees with you

I’ve fucked up. Nobody’s fault but mine

If you stare at them for too long you get sucked into that colour so then you cant see anything. So watch out for that

I want to try some of your cooking

Excellent has three ‘e’s in it and no ‘a’.

I find boring postcards utterly mesmerising

I’m dirty on the inside

I’m full of indecision and in a bad mood about kinship

I like a lot of things

Exactly

Cable with a b is shit

Lets rent a kite and fly south

Do you want it? It will end in tears

You know what

archive +6.5

I think you should write a book.

It’s the best idea I have ever had for you. Start with a brainstorm

I’m on an endless drive in Fulham. I think your circumstances may be preferable. No doubt you and your reflection are smiling

Cool your boots, find a neutral place, you’re just living in your essay and soon it will be dead

You MySpack. Do I not even warrant a cynical and inappropriately punctuated text? You sound sad. I hope you’re not entirely. There must be a little ray of sunshine even if it is my brother and it sits at home all day long thinking of you fondly and watching endless re-runs of match of the day. I’m on my way south with the entire contents of a florist pollinating on my fur jacket

Its already evening gone, its night, an awful night

Tipping the velvet

I can’t wake you. Your door is locked and your not picking up any phones. I tried

archive +6.4

I’m in Banbury next to oxford recording some music. I finish tomorrow evening, what will you be up to?

Take the mad tin

Where have you been, I've finished recording and back now

I know. A slight party, get drunk and wake up the next morning thinking oh well

I had a dream about you last night. I was telling you how beautiful you were but your mouth was stretched from your chin to your eye. Sexy. I wish I knew what it meant.

I think it may have been the darkness

Bring it over here and I will steady the bitch. I was right about the darkness. Here I go, free tickets

I’m not a big fan of meaning and I know you’re not either

Next time you’re up in London you should be with me because I do fun things like enter internet competitions about bands

Yeah well lets both lie in our beds and dream about night time competition

Want to come over tonight?

Oh where the hell are you, not that I particularly miss you, but you just disappeared without a word, without a trace. I hope you’re all right

If you’ve got it, flaunt it

archive +6.3

Am I black enough for you?

I’m sorry to only just get back to you. Saturday was amazing, the people went crazy, it was wonderful. London is missing you, London being me

Do you think it is bad if I text him?

Just been given a five-hour lecture about the consequences of pranking and meddling with peoples’ lives. I’m the one who needs to be rescued

My father found out I made a myspace page for one of his friends

Thanks for trying

I’ve completely forgotten what we were talking about. I’m comfortable with it

archive +6.2

Have you bitten the bullet?

Well maybe they’re right. I wouldn’t stop until I got arrested

Pressure my cellular

Fuck off. It’s well fucking funny to wake me up at 5

Please never doubt yourself. I personally think you’re one in a million

I’m at work feeling sorry for myself. What the hell happened this weekend?

I misbehaved too hard all night, took silly drugs, feel bad about being mean to some girl, on a big come down, no sleep, melancholic. Not my best

Where are you?

Pity

Why do you think?

Steady on, I just though you might like to come over for a glass of wine

Gosh. How dreadful. But otherwise yes. I don’t know what any of that means. Guess you’re on your way back to oxford then

You’re a hard girl to follow, but then you’re doing 90 and writing this shit-got to love you

archive +6.1

I’m bringing back some industrial strength ex-soviet condoms and a pack of Marlboro lights

Me too

Seriously

That’s fucking disgusting

I’m back in Keble. My room has two desks. One is for you

I’m so sorry. You never know what he is thinking. I’m actually thinking of you all the time. Don’t give up

Apparently frogs taste of chicken. Did you eat any or was it just diet cock and cigarettes?

I thought I saw you but it was the woman from the library, you know the one who isn’t actually a librarian but tries hard to be

Do you want some cake and cigarettes? I must get out of this house

You’re internal please

I despise the fact you never pick up your phone

Bugger

I’m in the bottom the library

Fuck me. Its like the Keble & Child in here

I made that up

Keen

No, it got put down by accident

I’m too lazy to knock on your door

Decadence is the new black

archive +6.0

I’m just pissed off because the coverage of that story made me want to kill. By the way the other film was one of the best I have ever seen

How are kisses drunkenness confusion and cafes?

Yes. Mad and passionate. He is getting married to his tiger girlfriend and I’m becoming a sad and pathetic witch. At least I have seen his penis

Patience is the key-let him think of you

You’re in Paris and wont get this thank god. I want to make weird noises

Shit pressed send by accident

What I meant to say was that kind of over excited noise but I feel I can only do it in your company. I sound like a pervert

When are you back?

Cut left up rue do vielle du temple

Troubadour

You have got the shits?

What are you talking about?

I feel embarrassed that I got excited about reggae in angel

I have a desperate need to fall in love

Why are you in Paris you fuck? The whole of earls court misses you.

Do I look like a slut?

Listen

archive +5.9

I had a dream about you last night. Licks and kisses

Actually I did

So pretty much doing exactly the same thing as you. Don’t suppose you feel like having a really nice dinner, watching some movies and telling each other not to worry and that life is great?

East is good. Is that a yes?

Make your way to Bethnal green and call me when you’re here

I never knew you drove

Are you sure you’re ok?

I’m hitting the hay. Thinking about you rocking in your rocking car. I’m kind of jealous, I love driving at night, but only people who don’t drive say that

How was last night?

Not funny, I can’t make jokes

Moral of the story. Give a shit about your kid don’t leave it with a badly trained dog otherwise you get a load of ignorants blaming the wrong thing

archive +5.8

Of course I knew he wasn’t coming

Will you eat first?

I actually don’t mind where

‘Please don’t run away from me otherwise people will think I’m a monster’ is apparently what I screamed, then I was described to have appeared like an escaped rapist

Promise please

You never came back

Soldiers sounds more fun than murder

Yes, I did think you were coming back

There is still hope. Please. Ill beg if I have to

I really want to show off my thumbs

Don’t smoke crack

Oh.my.god.i.am.so.bad. You should have heard his lines though

I’ve been shuffling around muttering to myself for four hours, my temperature reached a peak of 39. My favourite thing was to say that I was talking to myself over and over trailing off, sitting down, closing my eyes, repositioning the hot water bottle to leave one limb aching, then croak whatever feverish though floated in.

Then I cough really hard sometimes a little bit of wee seeps out into my ill duvet smelling boxers. My dressing gown rubs clean the yellow piss on the edge of the toilet and I groan and hum ride of the valkarys to make this feel grand

archive +5.7

Don’t ignore me

I don’t mind. I’ve just got in though and hackney is the best area so…old St, Columbia road, Bethnal green?

I’m in the cinema. I got told off last time

Merry Christmas. I’m dressing up as a winged sheep. My glance is tender, my snout is just right, and my wings my dear, my wings sparkle and are purple. I do wish you were arriving tomorrow

Merry Christmas. Sorry I couldn’t make it under the tree, but you can unwrap me some other time

Too many pine needles

I’m about to get on the plane

For bizarre activity we are having a glass of wine in the Fentiman but we'll have to go soon because political discussion at next table between expats will inspire violence

Putney’s a little out of my range

No I’m going to wait and see what unfolds with the dog

A thousand times yes

There was a young man from Kent

Call if you need the inhaler

He put it in double

God I embarrassed myself last night. I trashed a room with no trousers on and pulled a Virgin Mary quite violently against the wall. My mother had to put me to bed

archive +5.6

I have a massive bruise on my back from trying to build a pyramid last night. I decorated the tree the other day and went for a full tinsel wrap. I hate minimalist decoration

I would like a ritzy reunion soon

Actually that last message was a little keen. I actually meant yeah, maybe next year, whatever

Mind the cats

I have thought of you so many times this holiday. Please remind me to tell you the stories

Don’t worry, I know phones are scary. I’m now walking another dog waiting to hear if I can take the one I want. If I get it its called the dude

If I get him I will take him to my dads cottage at the sea for a holiday

No dog. Its got to be reassessed. I got a free sandwich so I can go home and play with that instead

I’m at Bethnal green. There is a tramp on hands free. This area is really up and coming

What happens in Brixton? I’m shaving my beard as we speak

You smoke heroin? Now I understand

What do you mean? That’s what you said

Fuck you. I don’t want to come to your Christmas drinks

archive +5.5

I cant see you there it is too depressing

I knew you wouldn’t understand

Your turn

I miss my friends, the sunshine, my job, my truck and my swimming. Everything really. Positive mental thinking hey

Cock. I hate them both. Cocks

Yes please. I’m wearing the worst shoes

I don’t give a hoot. Somewhere between north and south

We are going to kick your arse

How is preparation for Christmas? I bet you just love this season

Are you seeing him?

Sorry. That wasn’t meant for you

Call me ASAP

Come back

It’s a nice walk. Why don’t you try doing it backwards?

I just got your scary text. Are you ok?

I will pay for you all night. Drinks entrance. No pay back

I keep thinking about texting you. Not keep just have thought about texting you a couple of times but can’t think of anything entertaining to say

archive +5.4

Can I have the parker death and burial book?

I’m eating yours

I’m at Wadham looking at overwhelmingly nice legs

His room stinks

I haven’t been ignoring you on purpose. I speak to you whenever I see you, I let you pass out in my bed, I tell my friends to take you home and I never reply to your texts because they never make sense. I don’t want you to think there is a problem

Sorry for being testy. I’ve just spent five un necessary hours in the hospital waiting for my brother to be transferred

Opinions on the Nazis?

Id rather be an aunt than a Muslim

Id rather be a variation of cunt on predictive text

Cock?

It’s the transition from fast to slow. Like when you go past a lorry on the motorway and you go backwards for a bit, when you're so used to going forwards there is nothing now moving

This is the first message I have sent. It’s hard to use this phone

Her door keeps getting stuck and I have to escape through an Indian ladies flat. I’m dying for a cigarette but cant face the smell of curry any more. Still no reply from him. A bottle of wine just for me

There is a building being ripped down by a bulldozer. It looks like its made of paper

Write some poetry or come to Warwick

You are avoiding my question

Do you know where the stairways to heaven is?

Sorted handsome

Id do anything, for you dear anything.

You can come

Dear god a man just grabbed me and tried to get me into his car

Why the uncertainty?

You seem as disinterested in my messages as you were in my conversation

It was so wonderful seeing you yesterday. I’m happy you’re happy

Id rather be an anti racist than a Muslim

You got what you deserve

That depends on what exactly you quote, cunteyes

Ill tell you everything. Whenever you want

I guess I would open a bird sanctuary for chicks with broken hearts\

archive +5.3

Chilli and mayonnaise

Quote. He really likes her. Likes likes. Obviously

Dinner time

Thanks but I wont

I didn’t act very cool last night. I kept trying to hold his hand

Spoons

Jesus Christ. Bad for my nerves

I’m sitting in the quod. Ready

I just saw your man walking past the pub. Get him

Proactive

Id rather stay single and thin. You are amazing. Good texts anyway

Have you got oil and vinegar

I do not have rape films. You think the worst of people

3009

archive +5.2

Hate evolution. I’m going to our party

Fuck you

You make me want to say rude things

That was totally regrettable

Can you throw down your key?

If its not the middle aged ones launching themselves at you it’s the under age ones teasing me. Then there is the constant battle with reflective surfaces and complements.

What are you talking about?

Don’t you think its sick that although I was just told my Nan has been found dead, I still feel I need to do this work

How is the seducing?

I need to know who wrote the articles about the Italians

I can see you

I’m about to pull

I kissed him

Friends?

It’s still quite early

Something to do

Look at her e-mail. What a fucking creep. And the second one is inexplicable

archive +5.1

Mice of the east have slightly shorter tails than hedge mice which have slightly longer left ear lobes than earless donkeys

Lads. On tour

Would you be offended if I turned up at yours now?

I literally just had to run into my tutorial

Yes covered in drink stains

Its just dawned on me how disgusting it must have been to have me slop into your bed drunk as a fart

I just pissed in your loo and by accident on the floor. I cleaned my ears too

I love you too so does this mean you will suck my cock?

archive +5.0

Probably sees the stuff too often. Everyone likes a change

I’m sitting in a sea of students wearing baby pink and blue Warwick goodies. This is why I want to run. I’m wearing my Norwegian national costume

I know you think you’re enigmatic. But 5 words just wont cut it. Explain please, post-haste

Is it because of the jewfro. I completely understand

What is this? I finally manage to engage you in conversation and then nothing. My house is having a party. And fireworks. And fire. And chorizo and lentil soup. We didn’t invite anyone

I spent a lovely day with your brother which of course made me think of you. I understand what you think about what we’ve been made to do, I understand and see why you and I worry so much. There is a reason, I know, we feel so there must be. God sorry for the soppy message but I mean it. We’re searching for the beauty that will sadly never be but we have to look. I feel like an idiot trying to be so insightful but I truly mean it all. All my love my sweet --

What is the point of you?

No because it is ion oval where I cannot see it

Want a copy?

Gash mash, and vaginal cigarette ash rash. Ruby burn puss puss. Stone age rage full the wicker cage, blink, all is not it seems, twas only a wet dream

archive +4.9

I thought it was self-explanatory. Search it

Was it corporate whore drinks, ones with gentlemen or another breed?

I’m a concrete tourist flawless cordless deadpan stare through the drain cover glare blink the baby alligators. Baby alligators, in the sewers, grow up fast, they don’t last, they don’t last. The concrete tourist, bombs and cars, all frozen in mega pixels, cant remember the last time he saw seagulls

Well I don’t know how to feel because there is an air of discomfort. We need to sort that out first

That was my explanation. No more weirdness

I laughed loud. Sickness making my ankles shiver

It’s a bit like an addiction. But must stop, I've got the shakes. I didn’t like the way my life was heading

I’m coming up tomorrow. I’m going to look gangster, zoo York blazers and lumber jack shirt

Seriously?

Fuck it I got it

Are you available for fun?

Also those grapes fucked me up

I don’t know what any of that meant

What happened?

I was followed into a club toilet by a very young looking girl last week who went on to take a picture of my shlong/piece/samule Johnson without my knowledge and has posted such picture on the internet. I feel incredibly violated

You’re just annoyed because I’m so spontaneous