Thursday 13 December 2012

archive +9.9

 Did he like the story which didn’t make me laugh?

No because I'm on a coach and find it very awkward.  There is someone sitting right next to me.  Our bodies are touching from shoulders to thighs.  I will call you when I get off


I'm sure it will be fine.  I will give you my car keys and you can have  a little cry in there.


He just said he fell out with every girl in his life apart from you.  


Just bumped into her.    Still don’t get it


My mother told me today that I had a puffy face.  Piece by piece I am beginning to  identify with your whole life philosophy


This day is the worst


I feel the same about you.  He doesn’t stand a chance  if you just let yourself go.  


I heard your'e ill with cold sweats


Oh god you poor thing.  Are you sure it was that bad?


Did you cry? 


Is it an add break?


Stood up on the first date.  Cold


My stubbornness has got me lost again
  
Don’t text and drive, I'll call you later.




Thursday 25 October 2012

archive +9.8

I am sorry, but you make me laugh so much, your laugh alone.  I don’t think you should feel like a sicko, it sounds like he is sharing your humour

What about my place?  Just you and me

I’m so sad and miserable

Carnival I guess, I’m pinning all my hope on that.  I want to be nice and happy and sober and not disgusting.   

I’m so empty for upsetting so many people

Oh, did I blow it?

This guy I work for just asked me to stop being over-familiar.  You just cant recover from something like that

Did you LOL at the over-familiar thing?

He was totally serious. 

Anxious and scared…all those gangs and stuff

Just to clarify.  I didn’t intend to be rude, I think he is very clever and interesting

Do I really make you feel shit?

I think you’re nice, just not to me

Saturday 22 September 2012

archive +9.7

 I disagree with you, I think you can be angry.  I think it's unbelievable and that he is just being naïve

It kills me that he doesn’t realise how fucking lucky he is.  If he doesn’t see it then he doesn’t get it and then he doesn’t deserve it.  On top of that he is just plain rude and unkind

Just come, stop being an idiot.  You will know loads of people and meet more

I’m on the terrace, with him

After I left you I met a man called God’s Gift who pretended to push me into the road then claimed he had saved my life. 

I’ve turned into one of those dicks ‘married to their jobs’. 

I just got back from the farm.  I had the most wonderful tome-we castrated all the lions


Wednesday 22 August 2012

archive +9.6

 He was talking to someone on the phone about supplying monitors for the Brussels office

He was also drinking a beer and said he hadn’t slept for 32 hours

Heart broken how?

If you don’t know what to believe then there is no point in worrying.  I still think you’re great

I’m riddled with fear and self loathing

Are you doing the nasty?

He couldn’t get away from me faster.  I feel horrible

God I hate this feeling, depressed and rejected by the world.  Hate boys, hate me

I’m on curfew 7 to 7

He just threw up so the office smells of acid pizza.  

I feel like a hot oven

Just persist.

He does fancy you

Sunday 29 July 2012

archive +9.5

 Don’t laugh

Bit much?  I think so

My dad sent me a text

We adore the branding iron

I can hear the bubbles against the inside of my coke can

Unbelievable

Someone told me to stop tapping the buttons so I couldn’t text you back

I'm in Equador feeling most popular

Those pictures are the best I’ve ever seen.  Thank you

Thought that would be the best course of action

I have the softest butteriest teeth

Wednesday 20 June 2012

archive +9.4

 Your smile

I just got back on the wagon.  Don’t expect me ever to be the same.

I was in the crappy end of Holloway road being slut

If I could tell you everything at the push of a button I would

Either Italy or Balham

What is this constant stream of self flagellation? Either come or don’t.  Do what you actually want to do

Did you go to finishing school?

When I was 14 I wore a basin haircut, a hand me down woolly jumper, hi tec trainers and drove a tractor.  I didn’t know what sex was

Of course I want you there.  Your ticket is on the door

Carnival Sunday, time to bring it

The florist dropped them by the bin

I'm back.  Warn the boys

It was a half joke

Wednesday 30 May 2012

archive +9.3

Stop wasting my time

That just launched an enormous debate at the lunchtable

We’re in Monaco, just bitcing.   

Nothing more nothing less

I want to be a sinner

I wasn’t annoyed, I was flirting with you.

I feel like your pathetic girlfriend

We’re now both pretty hurt

The hair is all gone

I forget to say, I'm a vegan

Yo don’t know what selling out is because you're selling out itself

Was it a p ART y?

And in one fell swoop, I'm reminded  why I haven’t spoken to you in ages

Sunday 29 April 2012

archive +9.2


Has anyone been in your house?  There are white concrete footprints from the bathroom to your room.

Cement I think. Footprints

Or maybe she is a coke dealer. Gets it shipped in massive bags then steps on it to compress it into tiny packs she can hide. Much more likely.

You used to make me vomit

I swallowed it If I say yes will you let me sleep now?

I can only be friends with you if you stop assuming I think you’re pretentious and try to relax. That’s the only way we can get on. Big ask I know but it’s a deal breaker

I just feel washed up fucked up and lonely and another party isn’t going to solve it

Please don’t tell anyone about the tattoo.

You must understand, I have a reputation to protect.

I thought you had got over that phase.

Monday 9 April 2012

archive +9.1

I'm at your house now. your brother thinks I'm insane

You want to fuck me?

Just famous people

I just chatted shit. I think they bought it

She is confused

I think your dad thought I was a fan

My body is twisting

I swear on my life

I wanted to make cucumber sandwiches. Have you got any other cute ideas?

We have coconut macaroons for you

Can you answer your fucking phone please

We wont make it west

Monday 6 February 2012

archive +9.0

I've got nothing to say to you

Fat legs

They're singing in the fucking kitchen

Your coke's getting warm

Personally I think he was obsessed with his profile, but this was generally scoffed at in class

Don’t know. Sick like a dog

She has dyed her hair brown

I dreamt about your hair last night

This is by far my favourite Oxford story.

Are you still a smoker?

Don’t forget descriptive

There is no denying, he's handsome

Try my best to smooth away your frown

Very niche interest

We have amazing new railings

Monday 16 January 2012

archive +8.9

If we’re going to be friends you're going to have to stop apologising

I'm sorry for drinking, it was only two glasses. I just couldn’t do it, I'm a disgrace

Doesn’t she get agressive?

How many free texts do you get a month?

I want to give you speech therapy

A good texting does take it out of you, doesn’t it?

It is sad but we’ll always be friends and that’s the heaven of it

Sardines under stairs

The fanciest, but maybe not the fleshiest

I've spent an uncommon amount of my life in airports, you’re right

Fine. I will just stay in and read then

I thought that might be your answer

Thursday 12 January 2012

archive +8.8

One of the twins looks fat

And in one fell swoop, I'm reminded why I haven’t spoken to you in ages

Can you by me harry potter, in English. Your brother is refusing

She seems to think I'm a terror, still bullying you. Am I?

I'm sorry I got angry the other night. That day was terrible for me, one of the worst

No, I'm sorry, no excuses. Silly

Sounds pretty wild

He has found me factor 100 sun cream for the old and ill. I will be fine

I can just imagine your scruffy head in the room next door. I wish you were here

Like really fucking major

Those photos have had me laughing all day

Is he taking toy soldiers with him too?

Well I'm back at work at Roadchef so what do you think?