Sunday, 4 January 2015

archive +11.06


Crouching, chatting.  Sipping armagnac

archive +11.05

 Send it right now - I'm by a computer

My eyes have welled with tears

I'm madly jealous, but now I feel gross

I won't tell a soul

I will forever associate it with him and you drinking a bottle of gaviscon on that date

One word texts are very melodramatic

Don’t get all insecure

I find the thought of you walking around the park and just joinng any football team really funny

If its meant to be, I’ll guess

Sorry for being so weird and annoying.  I feel like ive been a real dick recently

I wish I wasn’t wearing those boots

When you put it like that...

I want to consume you; I want to make you melt in my arms

All of that and a bag of chips

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

archive +11.04

 Pull off my ears and chew

You aren’t religious in any way

With all that guilt

Sweet potato

Sleeping bag and headphones

Juxtaposing myself against the objects of my gaze, aren’t I

They perform for me

They exist through me

Im too self aware and self loathing now

He's such a stirrer

Lots of bruises

Chipped my front tooth pretty bad

Im full, tired and bored

Friday, 24 October 2014

archive +11.03

Wouldn’t it be so nice to have a sexy boyfriend to dress up for and go out for dinner with?  Order a bottle of wine with 

Don’t put that on your blog

Anonymity can’t hide it

You couldn’t have looked more beautiful last night

Keep on spending, that’s my advice

My stupid fingers!

Be careful on the road to the church as it’s steep and narrow.

Now, drink beer and eat herrings

Please don’t fall in the canals

She’s doing that hand thing

It is weird, you have to talk to your therapist about it. 

I had artichoke.  He had saucisson sec, then dorade and cote de veau in blanket sauce with mushroom, fries and the best French beans ever.  Back in super cool hotel now, place stiff with over 60s fashion victims I’m too kind to take photos of, but I will start  tomorrow

Chicken or burger

Monday, 1 September 2014

archive +11.02

It was a pleasure messing it up

I forgot the fucking crab on the roof
There must be a lot of sterilistion issues 

I'm enchanted

Quite a surreal situation.  Stick them all in your brother's room

Ok, I have a taleggio or a Canadian cheddar

It's all about crystal meth and brothers n sisters doing it

African heads

I'm making such a hash out of text messages at the moment

Just going back into work.  Theyre all so ugly and stupid

You're not too bad yourself

Who’s horrible?

Go on 

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

archive +11.01

-->I don’t think you want to know, you wouldn’t understand.  It's  a strange line being crossed 

A sorry state of affairs all round

I thought it was just an odd greeting

You're not there to make friends.  

My feet have swollen again

Didn’t expect me to call him?   

I get the message

Im sure loads of kids are on their own.  Head phones off

Relationships don’t matter.  

My boss is going to kill me and I've grown to hate my girlfriend.   

Still, I have a cheque to cash 

It was really sexy time I had to have a cold shower

Strangers don’t change when they move hearts and turn faces to smile.  While all the while

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

archive +11.00

Corn on the cob please

A big one

No corn, just the cob

Scrap that, I would like some corn

Corn off the cob

Will you call me later?  You know how I feel

You going to do it to me right back?

Shut up, please

Praise, it's all one way

I'm twisting the facts

I'm very impressed and grateful for your honesty.  I just worry after your fret is qualmed you will loose interest

Was that a really awkward message?

Come to Scotland

Looking out at planes listening to the air conditioning, waiting for my flight.  I'm staying with her tonight.

Where the fuck are you?

I would love that.  I can party.  I can drink.  I can smoke

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

archive +10.09

Will you bring my tartan skirt to the hotel?

In fact, bring the whole creepy bag

Could you bring a razor as well

I was so jealous of you all staying out all night

What's she like?

600 words about a naked performance arts thing I didn't go to

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a hooker?

You just wanted to talk a lot and then we’d sit down and you had noting to say

Over and over

On the wrong side of the park

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

archive +10.08

I poured vodka on the neighbours cat and its been licking itself all evening

I've got the book,  when do I get the girl?

She's a lovely girl.  Great skin

All those mean girls from tha cake club will be there

Oh good, so I was totally inappropriate
Filmed you dancing

Low moment in my life this text.  Sorry

Not firewood, I meant soundsytsem

Shit, does your car have a first aid kit

Don’t be jealous
Suits me




Thursday, 5 December 2013

archive +10.06

 Tears in the bathroom a distant memory

Last of my stuff is being shoehorned into a van as I sit in Islington.  One door closes and another opens

I will draft up something now.  I guess the practical side of the  curriculum will have to wait.  It will be fun though

Look at you setting the maths exams

Took a while as I only had ten fingers
Glass fuller today?

Sola dosis facit venenum

It’s the Scottishy pastry philosopy guy. 
Shame you assume that about yourself

I suppose disappointments a matter of expectation and expectations are out of your hands

Back to life before London.  Strange little detour it has been

I couldn’t bring myself to write your name on the front of the envelope.  

Horse's mouth
They clearly liked my ugly shoes

Sunday, 27 October 2013

archive +10.05

Stop chopping those fucking tomatoes


So very grateful for saving me last night

Please can you not tell anyone

Send me a picture of a baboon
A little more crude than I intended

You’ve never submitted, its an ongoing battle

You can be rude though

Don’t say sorry say thank you

Does this mean I have to censor my messages?

Will you send me a poem, im feeling vulnerable and insecure

Darling it was awful, im not used to that kind of tension

How shaming was last night. 

This could be the most boring day of my life

Monday, 6 May 2013

archive +10.04

 Breakfast pina colada with the mother of the bride
How are you?  You're crazy

I'm laying down.  It's best down here
Well that’s vague and non committal
Are you sure you're not Catholic?

The pale and pasty face of apocolypse.

Sounds like you're suffering from some sort of synesthesthia.   
You change your mind

Nearly home for a film on a very small screen

Don't have a bath

Just bumped into her

I only do Sundays
You don’t need a boy.  You need a man

I love you anyway but since yore doing so much to help me out I love you even more

Only the ones who are off limit

The most tender lamb I've ever tasted

I was with him last night, he admitted he had a soft spot for you

It’s the truth.  I got so drunk

Great, text you again in four months

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

archive +10.03

Whilst sheltering under a convenient cherry tree I tried to twist some stalks.  Abandoned attempts due to conspicuously contorted face.  No desire to explain what I was doing

I just went to go visit my gorilla to find out ive been padded out into a panda

Ok, another cafĂ© then, without aprons.  Or I could also wear an apron

That's an idle threat

You're not too heavy, you just weight me down.  We could both do with a little triviality

I liked your poem, I'm trying to respond

Am I being stupid?

I completely agree with your argument, for once

Didn’t sleep at all last night

Don’t try it

Don't not invite me then talk about it all night long

Invite me out  but do it fucking properly this time

Clearly you don’t like skinny boys

Thursday, 24 January 2013

archive +10.02

 Have you eaten my kit kat chunky?

I'm still in the car, stoned and sleepy.  You're so beautiful.  You make me very happy

It's my sisters birthday tomorrow, it's optional if I attend.  That girl is going to be there.  

Not casual, I want to ask her out on a date.  Bit awkward maybe.  I'm nervous

I'm going to go, man up, then play it straight

I'm in bed

Shall I save it until tomorrow?  

After all, I'm the one that wanted to call. 

I love you.  Goodnight

I'm feeling rather vulnerable.  Probably for the best

Can I call?

I've got the worst cystitis, literally pissing razor blades

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Archive +10.01

 I'm at square two

I'm so insulted you would text me about that with the crude assumption that I would be interested

I can't bear that crap

Which seed?

Garnish to me as an individual

What's your problem?

And what do you want?

Sorry for being awkward and stoned

He's actually eating a sandwich right next to me

I'm just getting roasted in the most horrible place you could possible imagine

I don’t want to be here.   

Don’t wake up

Sorry for depressing drunk message

Thursday, 3 January 2013

archive +10.00

 Could you go to my shop and pick up the bread, salad and meat?  My dad knows what we need. 

Did he reply?

He just left with her

Great joke

Fancy walking around Nunhead cemetery with me this afernoon?


I thought you would like it

Is it that bad?

He feels really bad for driving you into my trap

Any news?

Im not washing my hair

I need to ask a question.  Is there a special name for those cards they put next to art works?

Are you still with him?

So nice to see you, yet again.  You looked exceedingly beautiful.  I always want to kiss you and hug you.  Im in Brixton now having a drink.  Enjoy Germany, it will go fast.  Text me

Try and get comfortable.  I would like to be able to calm you
I wish I hadn’t left your house

I long to be there.

My mum has been asking about her bum-bag

So where did you sleep last night?