archive +11.02

It was a pleasure messing it up

I forgot the fucking crab on the roof

 

There must be a lot of sterilistion issues 

I'm enchanted

Quite a surreal situation.  Stick them all in your brother's room

Ok, I have a taleggio or a Canadian cheddar

It's all about crystal meth and brothers n sisters doing it

African heads

I'm making such a hash out of text messages at the moment

Just going back into work.  Theyre all so ugly and stupid

You're not too bad yourself

Who’s horrible?

Go on 

archive +11.01

-->I don’t think you want to know, you wouldn’t understand.  It's  a strange line being crossed 

A sorry state of affairs all round

I thought it was just an odd greeting

You're not there to make friends.  

My feet have swollen again

Didn’t expect me to call him?   

I get the message

Im sure loads of kids are on their own.  Head phones off

Relationships don’t matter.  

  

My boss is going to kill me and I've grown to hate my girlfriend.   

Still, I have a cheque to cash 

  

It was really sexy time I had to have a cold shower

Strangers don’t change when they move hearts and turn faces to smile.  While all the while

archive +11.00

Corn on the cob please

A big one

No corn, just the cob

Scrap that, I would like some corn

Corn off the cob

Will you call me later?  You know how I feel

You going to do it to me right back?

Shut up, please

Praise, it's all one way

I'm twisting the facts

I'm very impressed and grateful for your honesty.  I just worry after your fret is qualmed you will loose interest

Was that a really awkward message?

Come to Scotland

Looking out at planes listening to the air conditioning, waiting for my flight.  I'm staying with her tonight.

Where the fuck are you?

I would love that.  I can party.  I can drink.  I can smoke

archive +10.09

Will you bring my tartan skirt to the hotel?

In fact, bring the whole creepy bag

Could you bring a razor as well

I was so jealous of you all staying out all night

What's she like?

600 words about a naked performance arts thing I didn't go to

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a hooker?

You just wanted to talk a lot and then we’d sit down and you had noting to say

Over and over

  

On the wrong side of the park

archive +10.08

I poured vodka on the neighbours cat and its been licking itself all evening

I've got the book,  when do I get the girl?

She's a lovely girl.  Great skin

All those mean girls from tha cake club will be there

Oh good, so I was totally inappropriate

 

Filmed you dancing

Low moment in my life this text.  Sorry

Not firewood, I meant soundsytsem

Shit, does your car have a first aid kit

Don’t be jealous

  

Suits me

Charming

Soaking

Dripping

archive +10.06

 Tears in the bathroom a distant memory

Last of my stuff is being shoehorned into a van as I sit in Islington.  One door closes and another opens

I will draft up something now.  I guess the practical side of the  curriculum will have to wait.  It will be fun though

Look at you setting the maths exams

Took a while as I only had ten fingers

   

Glass fuller today?

Sola dosis facit venenum

It’s the Scottishy pastry philosopy guy. 

 

Shame you assume that about yourself

I suppose disappointments a matter of expectation and expectations are out of your hands

Back to life before London.  Strange little detour it has been

I couldn’t bring myself to write your name on the front of the envelope.  

Horse's mouth

 

They clearly liked my ugly shoes

archive +10.05

Stop chopping those fucking tomatoes

Morally?

So very grateful for saving me last night

Please can you not tell anyone

Send me a picture of a baboon

  

A little more crude than I intended

You’ve never submitted, its an ongoing battle

You can be rude though

Don’t say sorry say thank you

Does this mean I have to censor my messages?

Will you send me a poem, im feeling vulnerable and insecure

Darling it was awful, im not used to that kind of tension

How shaming was last night. 

This could be the most boring day of my life

archive +10.04

 Breakfast pina colada with the mother of the bride

 

How are you?  You're crazy

I'm laying down.  It's best down here

 

Well that’s vague and non committal

 

Are you sure you're not Catholic?

The pale and pasty face of apocolypse.

Sounds like you're suffering from some sort of synesthesthia.   

You change your mind

Nearly home for a film on a very small screen

Don't have a bath

Just bumped into her

I only do Sundays

  

You don’t need a boy.  You need a man

I love you anyway but since yore doing so much to help me out I love you even more

Only the ones who are off limit

The most tender lamb I've ever tasted

I was with him last night, he admitted he had a soft spot for you

It’s the truth.  I got so drunk

Great, text you again in four months

archive +10.03

Whilst sheltering under a convenient cherry tree I tried to twist some stalks.  Abandoned attempts due to conspicuously contorted face.  No desire to explain what I was doing

I just went to go visit my gorilla to find out ive been padded out into a panda

Ok, another café then, without aprons.  Or I could also wear an apron

That's an idle threat

You're not too heavy, you just weight me down.  We could both do with a little triviality

I liked your poem, I'm trying to respond

Am I being stupid?

I completely agree with your argument, for once

Didn’t sleep at all last night

Don’t try it

Don't not invite me then talk about it all night long

Invite me out  but do it fucking properly this time

Clearly you don’t like skinny boys

archive +10.02

 Have you eaten my kit kat chunky?

I'm still in the car, stoned and sleepy.  You're so beautiful.  You make me very happy

It's my sisters birthday tomorrow, it's optional if I attend.  That girl is going to be there.  

Not casual, I want to ask her out on a date.  Bit awkward maybe.  I'm nervous

I'm going to go, man up, then play it straight

I'm in bed

Shall I save it until tomorrow?  

After all, I'm the one that wanted to call. 

I love you.  Goodnight

I'm feeling rather vulnerable.  Probably for the best

Can I call?

I've got the worst cystitis, literally pissing razor blades

Archive +10.01

 I'm at square two

I'm so insulted you would text me about that with the crude assumption that I would be interested

I can't bear that crap

Which seed?

Garnish to me as an individual

What's your problem?

And what do you want?

Sorry for being awkward and stoned

He's actually eating a sandwich right next to me

I'm just getting roasted in the most horrible place you could possible imagine

I don’t want to be here.   

Don’t wake up

Sorry for depressing drunk message

archive +10.00

 Could you go to my shop and pick up the bread, salad and meat?  My dad knows what we need. 

Did he reply?

He just left with her

Great joke

Fancy walking around Nunhead cemetery with me this afernoon?

Laughter

I thought you would like it

Is it that bad?

He feels really bad for driving you into my trap

Any news?

Im not washing my hair

I need to ask a question.  Is there a special name for those cards they put next to art works?

Are you still with him?

So nice to see you, yet again.  You looked exceedingly beautiful.  I always want to kiss you and hug you.  Im in Brixton now having a drink.  Enjoy Germany, it will go fast.  Text me

Try and get comfortable.  I would like to be able to calm you

 

I wish I hadn’t left your house

I long to be there.

My mum has been asking about her bum-bag

So where did you sleep last night?

archive +9.9

 Did he like the story which didn’t make me laugh?

No because I'm on a coach and find it very awkward.  There is someone sitting right next to me.  Our bodies are touching from shoulders to thighs.  I will call you when I get off

I'm sure it will be fine.  I will give you my car keys and you can have  a little cry in there.

He just said he fell out with every girl in his life apart from you.  

Just bumped into her.    Still don’t get it

My mother told me today that I had a puffy face.  Piece by piece I am beginning to  identify with your whole life philosophy

This day is the worst

I feel the same about you.  He doesn’t stand a chance  if you just let yourself go.  

I heard your'e ill with cold sweats

Oh god you poor thing.  Are you sure it was that bad?

Did you cry? 

Is it an add break?

Stood up on the first date.  Cold

My stubbornness has got me lost again

  

Don’t text and drive, I'll call you later.

archive +9.8

I am sorry, but you make me laugh so much, your laugh alone.  I don’t think you should feel like a sicko, it sounds like he is sharing your humour

What about my place?  Just you and me

I’m so sad and miserable

Carnival I guess, I’m pinning all my hope on that.  I want to be nice and happy and sober and not disgusting.   

I’m so empty for upsetting so many people

Oh, did I blow it?

This guy I work for just asked me to stop being over-familiar.  You just cant recover from something like that

Did you LOL at the over-familiar thing?

He was totally serious. 

Anxious and scared…all those gangs and stuff

Just to clarify.  I didn’t intend to be rude, I think he is very clever and interesting

Do I really make you feel shit?

I think you’re nice, just not to me

archive +9.7

 I disagree with you, I think you can be angry.  I think it's unbelievable and that he is just being naïve

It kills me that he doesn’t realise how fucking lucky he is.  If he doesn’t see it then he doesn’t get it and then he doesn’t deserve it.  On top of that he is just plain rude and unkind

Just come, stop being an idiot.  You will know loads of people and meet more

I’m on the terrace, with him

After I left you I met a man called God’s Gift who pretended to push me into the road then claimed he had saved my life. 

I’ve turned into one of those dicks ‘married to their jobs’. 

I just got back from the farm.  I had the most wonderful tome-we castrated all the lions

archive +9.6

 He was talking to someone on the phone about supplying monitors for the Brussels office

He was also drinking a beer and said he hadn’t slept for 32 hours

Heart broken how?

If you don’t know what to believe then there is no point in worrying.  I still think you’re great

I’m riddled with fear and self loathing

Are you doing the nasty?

He couldn’t get away from me faster.  I feel horrible

God I hate this feeling, depressed and rejected by the world.  Hate boys, hate me

I’m on curfew 7 to 7

He just threw up so the office smells of acid pizza.  

I feel like a hot oven

Just persist.

He does fancy you