archive 3.4

So, read some Proust

I’m a horrible person whose only intention in life is to reap misery on you

I may bring it up occasionally to piss you off

You hung up

I really like this boy here. He has asked me to stay here with him and I said yes

See you in 6 months

You actually thought I was going to stay for 6 months in Kenya with a 30 year old?

Any reason why you’re ignoring me

Chatterbox

Where’s the kiss?

Infatuation that’s going to come true

Nowhere to be seen in the wagon

Going down to Brixton to beg a poor man to give me money

The address wouldn’t go a miss

You’re a dream girl

Glad you’re home, shame about the humour

Gently drifting in and out of sleep myself. Gasping desperately for breath as I gaze over at my new box

Please don’t

Thank you for being my all, my reason for so much in life. I’ll miss you. Have an amazing year. I love you

Are you in Oxford?

Fancy a bit of anal?

Oh god I’m delirious

Do you want to come out tonight, with crackheads. Chanel wearers get in free apparently

Its been cancelled cause the bassist has gone awol

I just escaped from classics party. Some gimp tried to start a debate on who was cooler-Odysseus or Aeneas.

Time to go you drunkard

I’m in the mood and feeling liberal

archive 3.5

Here is where my computer broke up.























At first when I switched it off,














and then for a short while,















and then for ages.








I lost loads of messages.

Loads and loads.

archive 3.6

Lesbian t-shirt slogan ‘What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?’

Roof is too precarious for me. I’m in geriatrics’ winter garden

It’s about an academic schizophrenic. Not unlike yourself in fact

I was hoping to shake him up for a sibling upgrade

I just saw a man rubbing an egg on his elbow while walking along the platform

You’re very very sad

She’s thinking carnival

Stop blushing

I admit I have been wondering why my nonchalant attitude towards girls goes out of the window with you

At my brother's, eating summer pudding

Just smack it in the jaws

I hope it has tourbillion movement

Eating octopus

Didn’t realise you liked the smell of my shit

Riverside pizzas, a scenic perambulation, frightening pictures and public displays of affection?

I sometimes sound like the sleaziest prick

Apparently if you need to pee during sex it means you’re about to cum

I missed the first train because I was distracted playing patience on the floor while eating Greek yogurt with my fingers

Syntagma

He never stops crying

She refuses to look at her results. Everyone is brown. She is having a *bash in fucking Croydon later. We are looking at your French tourist photo and crying with heartbreak.

archive 3.7

I would have bought you a Jewish cheesecake had I thought for one moment that I would have been able to abstain form eating it myself

Louting the streets of Camberwell no doubt?

Sometimes I wonder whether I should be the one seeing someone as well

Check your e-mail. It’s your turn

I don’t think it matters if I smile because as always, any example of emotion or affection is excruciating on your part. Not your problem I know, it must be easy knowing you can count on unconditional love, but I have to consider my own happiness sometimes.

I’m in

I’m a goner today. Glands up

I’m just starring at the screen thinking of inappropriate people

I have to admit you’re a very good skater

I might just come home this weekend and I might just give you a little kiss

I always enjoy our midnight liaisons

Got any mindless trivia for me?

I don’t know what the others told you about me and I don’t really care. You’re the sexiest girl I know

You better like them or I will cut my toes off and wear them myself

What currency would you repay that in?

I’ve got a semi and 3 erect nipple

Make me some plans I cannot refuse

I have so many clothes on I feel like an Inuit. Apparently minus 15 tomorrow. It’s ok to talk about the weather when it’s this extreme

Parents? I fucking live for adult company

Fuck off

I hate it when you’re the mature one

Well I know how unpleasant it is to be the one fucked around

Something good did come out of this evening; you learnt how to kiss and I got some earrings. Don’t let me push you away again

Discuss birthday presents, sex, toys and the like

I’m on the doorstep

Did you get my letter?

Id rather slice off my ears

Where the hell are you? Birthdays don’t make you too cool to come in. Your day was yesterday

Sorry for sounding ambivalent.

That red belly dancer outfit is perfect for a kiss

Good kissing tonight. Well done

I’m really not sure quite what to make of what you said last night
I’m not being cryptic. You say it’s a shit use, but I can’t imagine you using it

There will be dancing in the streets and necking in the parking lots

These digits aren’t just for anyone you know

A dragonfly flew into my room and landed on my foot

What the hell is going on with all the transvestites?

Tate modern and diet coke?

I just drove past a guy wearing a cowboy hat. He looked amazing

Heard you look like me when you sleep. Compliment of your life

Absolutely fucking fantastic

My swing has swung

You’re just ruthlessly bored and you know I’m the sucker who will give you instantaneous response

Very formal. When you call we must only speak of what we have ‘been up to’, how great everything is and make promises to meet up for a coffee we will never have

archive 3.8

I really want to see you

Just breath in out and in

It’s more that I loved seeing you and no one makes me feel like that

I meant everything I said tonight, good and bad. Considering you have surgically attached this smile to my face I guess I must be serious

I met a Vietnamese man who spat a lot and spilt somebody’s beer all over them. Then I got told I was fuckable

I’m going out tonight on the right side of the river. Detoxed enough to come?

There is nothing unusual about basil puree

I’m enjoying a hot chocolate with a big grin and three erect nipples

I’m about to have my blood stolen despite tattoos and Asian escapades

They have decided I’m too tainted. I’m going to come and abduct you if you wait too long

Call me, jump in a cab and I will pay for it

My lovely sisters screaming suicide threats through the door

Life is great now I can finally wash meeting you off my hands

Who are you?

Thank god

Of course

Had some amazing goats cheese, it was a slab. Dark country lanes also reminded me a little of you

You look fucking excellent in it. Approval of old people nationwide is finally yours.

You can’t make me worry then switch off your phone

I’m sick of telling you how much I miss, think and want to see you. I’m going to be a hardass for a while

Go home

I feel dizzy and like a bitch

Dignity intact-a malteser amongst the ice

You don’t have an answer phone. I had been practicing what to say for the two minutes it was ringing

I’m in a Porsche near you, call me

That’s even more tragic than me spending Valentines Day with my brother

A weekend in Paris and you’re still bored. Always been hard to satisfy

Betrayal is a hateful word. Disappointed is more like it

I would never cry over you

The plumber is an undercover policeman

I spent the whole day knowing it was important but not remembering why. Now I do, happy two year old kiss

You’ve outdone yourself on the bullshittig stakes

My train departed from Norwich terminus at 18 30 and is now travelling towards London Liverpool Street. It is scheduled to arrive for 20 25 where I will leave the train and descend to the circle line. Changing at oxford circus I will the proceed to wards Brixton along the Victoria line. Then I will catch either the 196 or 3 to complete my journey. Good enough?

B15 and I don’t do plans

Can’t you see an excuse when you hear one?

Row 0 seat 18

Call me later. I live for it

We are a bushy kind of family

She’s a twat

Hard core hatred today so fuck off and leave me alone

What is your ideal style of cake? Icing? Size? Flavour

A disappointing night out

archive 3.9

If you want to clear the air I can talk now

Now is probably not the best time to talk because I’m still hurt and feel stupid for letting myself get so close to you

Give me 5. Serious problem

It went well until he tried to kiss me. Who the fuck does he think he is?

I can’t come to work today, I will die

Drug girl

You would be doing yourself a favour by missing it

That was pretty funny

What did you want from me?

I’m drinking hot chocolate and eating cinnamon biscuits in Borough

By the way, your texts are beautiful

I’m definitely in a selfish stashing mood. Apparently it’s the season to be a shit

Do you fancy a bake off?

Deep breathes

There are two ts in stutter

That’s rude. You should be more careful with the company you keep

The girl is busy until Thursday. I wanted to slap her

I will take that Satsuma now

Sod off until you send me something actually meant for me

We have been sitting on her cat drinking three bottles of port. Have you got your balsamic vinegar from Santa yet?

I intend to fail them all and learn how to run really fast instead.

You still going to Paris?

Everyone is talking about how gorgeous you are. I showed him the article photo and he said wow

I know I am

I definitely don’t get up before 3, make plans or communicate with you. So as usual things are up in the air.

Praise enough

She kissed him under your hat. I’m not supposed to have told you.

Sorry about last night, I was yearning for your arrival and it never happened so instead I drank the room, kissed him and rang the others.

Are you still in the library?

Fabulous idea, it could be a sketchbook for a mouse

Stop being so cagey

I’m black footed and need some loving

Yeah, but I like fish

Where in the world are you?

archive 04

No wonder I’m like who I am

Dad just asked where’ve you been. He's right, we haven’t seen you recently

Delia’s making salads, you should be watching

I read a book about autism and it made me feel really scarily lonely

The taxi driver sang through his nose all the way home

Did I overhear from her that you take drugs?

Unfortunately he had a bronzed limbed temptress stuck to his face

I thought about it today and in the end was a little conflicted, but the bottom line is that whenever I hear from you, despite having not spoken for ages, I still care about you like you were one of my closest friends.

I've turned around and will get you

I’m coming to visit you in your hotel room and I’m going to destroy the fucking joint

Singing the blues

Come back, I've found your shoes

How long are your legs and wide are your hips?

I’m up a wooden ladder choking on dust in a basement rearranging 15th century books

My whole family will be assembled in the port, waiting

Hi. I’m very nice remember from you. I would like to know you some days before

I need to be re educated, I’m so in the dark and know fuck all about home. What in gods name have you done to your hair?

The night was partially salvaged. We went to a beach discotec with loads of badly dressed men.

I’m so hated for being here

I just took a shower and wished you had been there to scrub me down

You cant text me to let me know you're back in this depressing place?

I’m not going to pretend its easy getting out of bed. If it wasn’t for the fact I’m seeing you I don’t think I could

Are you the loser sitting at the front?

I barely slept all night because you were kicking

I think that you never regret doing what is in your heart even if in your head you think its wrong. The other night felt so good

Channel 5, its going to be me

Its lucky I’m going away because I don’t deserve you

You fucking rebel, don’t you know it’s a school night. I might have to report you

I’m sitting on a wall in Clapham, alone, feeling mortally embarrassed

Do you think he would marry me?

He was outside college. Fuck he is short

You text me at 4am. What's wrong with you?

Thank you for your sick sodden sock left on my arctic goose duvet

Still working on your impatience?

Pas de problem, Samedi avec plaisir jespere que tu ne pas oublier

There it is, the habitual Sunday text

At least you make me smile. I’m putting my foot down. No ideas : no me

If you didn’t the regulars at my whorehouse would be disappointed

Frankly I’m shocked you have turned down two dinners

I would speak to you for hours if it made you smile for a second

It’s your eyes young one

I despise myself for caring

Fuck this, I’m so pathetic I want to cry

Much laughing gas and jack daniels. You wouldn’t be proud of me on this coach

Things will be all right in the end. If they’re not all right then it’s not the end

Just been dumped for the third time and I really think its time to move on

I just had to get over myself so I ran out of the room crying